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Mike Bradberry
Goo Roo
Queensland
V8 UnLimited

Posts: 1335
Reg: 07-2005

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009 - 08:14 pm, by:  Mike Bradberry (Halflife) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I've made that terrible mistake and now I'm paying and they are not.
I loaned my nephew and his partner a substantial sum of money and was promised it would be paid back on the sale of their house. The house is sold, and I've been paid under half of the amount owing, the mobiles have been cut off, they don't answer the land line, she's pregnant and doesn't have a job.
What do you reckon my chances are of getting my money back?
What pisses me off is the sense of betrayal and the total lack of communication on their part. I mean they could have told us they were in trouble and could we hold on a while till they get their s**t together, but nothing.
Yahoo, in the budget we get $10.00 per week increase. Perhaps that will fix things.
Ali Saeed
TryHard
WA
V8 Limited

Posts: 415
Reg: 09-2007

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009 - 08:38 pm, by:  Ali Saeed (Ali) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

to be totally honest if i had enough money to loan a friend, let alone family, i would never ask to be repaid :-) but thats just me :p
Stuart Smith
TryHard
NEW SOUTH WALES
SC400 V8 GT LIMITED Proper Prior Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance

Posts: 269
Reg: 06-2008

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009 - 09:04 pm, by:  Stuart Smith (Leader428) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Mike, one of my quotes is-"It costs the same to lend as to give"....
Another is-"no good deed goes unpunished"...
I guess you have been screwed.
Ben Dowdell
TryHard
SA
GT Limited V8

Posts: 154
Reg: 07-2005

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009 - 09:55 pm, by:  Ben Dowdell (Ben) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

hind sight is a beautiful thing..... If you were to have your time again you could have put a 'lean' or 'caveat' on the property. This would obviously be lifted at the time of settlement and you would have your money back.

have they purchased another property? a 'lean'/ 'caveat' could be placed on the new property.

next option is to take them to court but that will depend on if you can prove you lent the money and how much you were repaid. Bank statements are a start and other people who were privy to the transaction.

Get legal advice.
Mike Bradberry
Goo Roo
Queensland
V8 UnLimited

Posts: 1336
Reg: 07-2005

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 06:27 am, by:  Mike Bradberry (Halflife) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ali, the money loaned represents about 1/20th the value of their property but about one third of our total savings. As we live on a carers pension this money (to us) was substantial. We consider ourselves to be very generous people and actually put money aside for the RSPCA, lifesavers etc.
Ben, most of the money we loaned was for business purposes and the rest was personal because they made some unwise decisions. There is no way we would take them to court as they are family and exactly my point about lending to family.
Miles Baker
Goo Roo
Vic
66 Mustang GT Convertible, 55 Chevy Bel Air, 69 Firebird 455, 69 Nova SS Clone

Posts: 1605
Reg: 08-2005

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 07:46 am, by:  Miles Baker (Milesb) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I'd just ignore Ali's comment Mike. It's pretty silly, especially posted here.
David Tra
DieHard
qld
TT

Posts: 752
Reg: 11-2007

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 09:58 am, by:  David Tra (Bookie) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I wouldnt resort to a court hearing. Come on this isnt American. Us Aussie value and live by the word families.
Id try my best to contact them. Have you tried face to face contact? Give it sometime and if no progress, use the law as a scare tactic?
David Vaughan
Goo Roo
NSW
V8 Ltd manual

Posts: 4347
Reg: 07-2005

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 10:31 am, by:  David Vaughan (Davidv) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


quote:

the mobiles have been cut off, they don't answer the land line


He has tried his best to contact them. It's a "keep trying" situation though, indirectly through other family members if possible, making it clear that you want an arrangement, or to know their plans, rather than are making immediate demands. If it was lent as a family thing then I would not resort to the law unless I saw clear evidence of ill-intent rather than probable distress. I have no chance, at a distance, of predicting your chances of recovery, Mike, but I can estimate the feeling and sympathise.

On the other hand, I think the records are littered with cases of non-contract lending gone wrong. Ben's idea (too late now) of a lien (that's the spelling, Ben) on the property would have been very practical and clearly reasonable to request. As a backup position, do you have any relevant documents or semi-independent witnesses?
Gary Rollason
TryHard
Qld
TT 5 speed

Posts: 137
Reg: 05-2007

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 12:15 pm, by:  Gary Rollason (Garyr) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I'd say it's time to get the "Family" involved.
Ben Dowdell
TryHard
SA
GT Limited V8

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 01:24 pm, by:  Ben Dowdell (Ben) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

thanks Dave, a lien is also valid across a business entity too.

no one wants to take family to court however nor do we lend money to family and expect to be dudded. your act was of good faith and they have breached your trust.

try all other avenues yes but i feel there are 2 options at this stage a) walk away b) explore your legal options.
Mike Bradberry
Goo Roo
Queensland
V8 UnLimited

Posts: 1337
Reg: 07-2005

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 03:26 pm, by:  Mike Bradberry (Halflife) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I still have the sense they will pay us back eventually, but it was the lack of courtesy in them not letting us know the situation that got up my nose. They are both nice people and are basically honest, but neither of them have much idea about finance, hence us having to bail them out.
I also don't feel they are deliberately trying to block our calls as they have been hard to contact in the past (eg when their last phone was cut off).
Garry that's funny about getting the "Family" involved. Perhaps I should ask them "How's ya kneecaps?"
I certainly am not a vengeful person and the thought of bringing in the law in any form makes me feel ill. I say that because I have seen it at it's worst.
For now I have totally let it go and I'm hoping the good nature I have seen in both of them comes through.
David Vaughan
Goo Roo
NSW
V8 Ltd manual

Posts: 4348
Reg: 07-2005

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 04:10 pm, by:  David Vaughan (Davidv) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I wouldn't let it go completely. Just the occasional contact, direct or indirect, at a six-monthly interval at worst.

If you let it go completely then even with good intentions they will always feel it could be deferred just a little bit longer.
David Tra
DieHard
qld
TT

Posts: 754
Reg: 11-2007

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 04:23 pm, by:  David Tra (Bookie) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Maybe the couple was afraid to let u down? many reasons and we will never know...
Callum Finch
Goo Roo
WA
Soarer TT & Corolla

Posts: 4445
Reg: 09-2005

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 05:18 pm, by:  Callum Finch (Sigeneat) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Mike kudos to you for having the faith. Unfortunately it bit you in the ass and your experience is a good lesson to others.

Ali, give yourself a few more years of working and buying things like cars and houses before you start handing out your income to friends and family without expecting to be paid back.
Ryan Rankovic
Goo Roo
Victoria
Soarer TT GT-TL

Posts: 1273
Reg: 07-2005

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 06:06 pm, by:  Ryan Rankovic (Ryan1j) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

disappointing to hear

i purchased a $1500 tv for a mate who bought a new house on an 18 months interest free dealio through where I used to work.
he paid me back within 4 or so.

I guess theres some people who you just cant trust until you deal with them
Aaron Mead
Goo Roo
NT
Celsior 1UZ-FE Mines, JZZ30 1.5JZ-GTE To4z

Posts: 2309
Reg: 03-2006

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 06:19 pm, by:  Aaron Mead (Aaron) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Im going to assume the 1 20th of their property is around $2,000.00-$3,000.00 as most poeple with a property of anything more substantial possibly wouldnt need a loan.

That amount is conventient, I mean it is eliglible in the small claims tribunal, which is a far, FAR cheaper path to recovery than an all out writ against a defendant, because in the past, I have betrayed my own family. Of course I made up for it as I grew older and wiser and much richer, but the past apathy and ignorance lives with me and is unforgiving. I mean what if i didnt make it well enough to pay back what i owed plus interest?

I think that if I were in your shoes, Id be feeling a mixture between feeling stupid, and feeling betrayed.

In my past, i have both been betrayed, and purported the betrayal.


If you had a verbal agreeement at best, perhaps consult legal aid to see if you are eligible for assistance, if not contact a local solicitor.

I feel for you mate, i assume you are older than most of us young'uns here. I feel guilt for all the times I screwde someone over who didnt deserve it.

Tis not funny, but my younger bro had to send his infant to hospital in an ambulance today. Of course, im happy to fork out the $800 ride. But who in my family would have, had I not betrayed them to get to where I am..



A means to an end?



Is it?



I'm too young and stupid to know yet...
David Vaughan
Goo Roo
NSW
V8 Ltd manual

Posts: 4349
Reg: 07-2005

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 07:03 pm, by:  David Vaughan (Davidv) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

1/20th of a property is $2k-$3k? That makes the property worth $40k-$60k? Where are you buying? 200Km South-West of Uluru?

I assume you (mis)calculated on a figure of half a million, give or take $100k. Then, 1/20th looks a more meaningful figure which does not fit in the Small Claims Court's jurisdiction.
Aaron Mead
Goo Roo
NT
Celsior 1UZ-FE Mines, JZZ30 1.5JZ-GTE To4z

Posts: 2318
Reg: 03-2006

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Thursday, May 14, 2009 - 05:00 pm, by:  Aaron Mead (Aaron) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


Aaron Mead wrote on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 06:19 pm:

I'm too young and stupid to know yet...




and theres the disclaimer ...
Ali Saeed
TryHard
WA
V8 Limited

Posts: 430
Reg: 09-2007

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Thursday, May 14, 2009 - 11:02 pm, by:  Ali Saeed (Ali) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

i guess its just a cultural thing then.
David Grab
Goo Roo
SA
T78

Posts: 1317
Reg: 01-2008

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Monday, May 25, 2009 - 02:38 am, by:  David Grab (Blastedbyasoarer) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

-How long has it been?
-How old are they?
-Did they understand it was a loan rather than a gift?
-Are they living above there means, meaning as they slashing out on luxuries rather than neccecities?

Ive had a similar problem, its not the money at the end of the day its more about respect. You help them out and then you have to chase up your own money. But depends how long it has been and how old they are. If there not able to stand on their own two feet yet its understandable besides the non-communication part. If they are in there 25-30 then id be a bit less understanding and if they are leaving beyong their means yet crying poor then that would piss me off. I had a mate that owed me money and the loan was for a week but i said a month or two is fine. Two and a half years went past as i didnt really need the money in the mean time and he hasnt brought it up and neither did i. Then he bought an XR6, massive home theatre system etc and then started talk of buying a VE Calais well then it borke the camels back and i said im in a bit of a financial spot and hes throwing around money rather than paying back his debts. Got the money and lost our friendship. I hate people that lack respect, integirty and morals and especially those that are me, me, me sort of people.
Leon Wright
Goo Roo
WA
V8 UZZ31

Posts: 1045
Reg: 08-2006

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Monday, May 25, 2009 - 11:36 am, by:  Leon Wright (Techman) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Loaning money to friends is dangerous territory! (well loaning more money than what you'd care about not getting back) Friends have called me a tight wad, but I refuse to loan money to people and refuse to borrow. Money can do funny things to people. Family, well rock and a hard place really.
Kelly O'Brien
TryHard
QLD
TT Soarer

Posts: 130
Reg: 09-2007

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 - 01:34 pm, by:  Kelly O'Brien (Kelly) Quote hilighted text Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I have been in a similar situation with a cousin, my partner and I were taken advantage of and never thanked or repaid after we did everything in our power (financially and otherwise) to genuinely give him a good chance at getting ahead... This cousin was too young to understand the value of money, the importance of investing in your own future and just had his priorities all wrong (smoking, partying and drinking come first). Still makes my blood boil...there are always lessons to be learned out of these situations.

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