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Mike Beck
Goo Roo
New Zealand
Roadster

Posts: 3634
Reg: 11-2005

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Thursday, September 03, 2009 - 05:34 pm, by:  Mike Beck (Gold_40gt) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I thoroughly agree with Mr Sharpe on that one.
Leon Wright
Goo Roo
WA
V8 UZZ31

Posts: 1073
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Thursday, September 03, 2009 - 06:40 pm, by:  Leon Wright (Techman) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


Jol Alexander wrote on Thursday, September 03, 2009 - 08:52 am:

You know the best cure for a broken heart yeah?


Time, lots of time. A positive outlook usually helps as well. I go by the saying "Things always happen for a reason". As painful as it is currently, better after 8 months than 8 years.
Ben Kelly
DieHard
Wentworthville
v8

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Thursday, September 03, 2009 - 09:03 pm, by:  Ben Kelly (Ace) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ryan, you seem to have a lot of good advice here already. i can only suggest (pretty strongly) that you look at
www.askmen.com it has good articles on sex, dating and dating outside your culture. personally mate id give her the flick. sounds like youre just experiencing the normal process of grief at the loss of a relationship. the idea that you could go doorknocking together or otherwise is the first stage of grief- denial
Aaron Mead
Goo Roo
NT
Celsior 1UZ-FE Mines, JZZ30 1.5JZ-GTE To4z

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Thursday, September 03, 2009 - 09:58 pm, by:  Aaron Mead (Aaron) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


Jol Alexander wrote on Thursday, September 03, 2009 - 08:52 am:

You know the best cure for a broken heart yeah?




I was gonna say some hardcore anal sex with a hot chick from Somewheres Next top Model :-)
Mike Bradberry
Goo Roo
Queensland
V8 UnLimited

Posts: 1509
Reg: 07-2005

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Friday, September 04, 2009 - 07:11 am, by:  Mike Bradberry (Halflife) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Lovely comment Aaron.
Jol Alexander
TryHard
Vic
UZZ31 V8 (no mods)

Posts: 269
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Friday, September 04, 2009 - 11:05 am, by:  Jol Alexander (Courage) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Aaron is the closest to the mark.

Best cure for a broken heart is to find another chick/dude (whatever floats your boat)

(BTW "hardcore anal sex with a hot chick from Somewheres Next top Model" Is a cure for just about anything)
Ali Saeed
Goo Roo
WA
V8 Limited

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Friday, September 04, 2009 - 03:00 pm, by:  Ali Saeed (Ali) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


Jol Alexander wrote on Friday, September 04, 2009 - 11:05 am:

(BTW "hardcore anal sex with a hot chick from Somewheres Next top Model" Is a cure for just about anything)




will it help with herpes?
David Vaughan
Goo Roo
NSW
IS300

Posts: 4613
Reg: 07-2005

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Friday, September 04, 2009 - 05:48 pm, by:  David Vaughan (Davidv) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Electricity prices?

Difficulty growing vegetables?

Bunny rabbits?
Jol Alexander
TryHard
Vic
UZZ31 V8 (no mods)

Posts: 277
Reg: 07-2009

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Friday, September 04, 2009 - 08:40 pm, by:  Jol Alexander (Courage) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

... yep
David Tra
Goo Roo
qld
TT

Posts: 1084
Reg: 11-2007

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Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 08:35 am, by:  David Tra (Bookie) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Tons of girls in the Filiopines to choose from. I know a few people who went down that route and are truly happy.
David Vaughan
Goo Roo
NSW
IS300

Posts: 4615
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Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 10:31 am, by:  David Vaughan (Davidv) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Phillipines, or are they addicts for greek pastry?
David Tra
Goo Roo
qld
TT

Posts: 1086
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Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 10:57 am, by:  David Tra (Bookie) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Phillipines. Thanks for pointing that out David
David Vaughan
Goo Roo
NSW
IS300

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Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 11:49 am, by:  David Vaughan (Davidv) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)



Ryan Rankovic
Goo Roo
Victoria
Soarer TT GT-TL

Posts: 1389
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Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 04:54 pm, by:  Ryan Rankovic (Ryan1j) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Well we got together today to talk and discuss things. I was a mess the night we broke up and wasnt thinking straight and didnt have much to say and what I did was probably wrong.

I feel better talking about it all, she is 100% certain that the religion is what she wants. She seems to be a different person when shes talking about it, she believes it so much, its a bit scary.

She said that if she doesnt have the paradise to look forward to after death she doesnt have much to look forward to? I think thats very sad.

She said that she needs to apologise to the Elders at the meetings they have, and to prove that she is sorry for abandoning her beleifs.
I asked her if she was sorry and if she regrets anything. And she told me that shes sorry for dragging me into her world, and that she wanted to know what the outside world was like. followed by, "its nothing special". That hurt a lot. My love wasnt enough to sway her from looking forward to life after death I guess?

But I feel alot better. The relationship has come to a complete end and I said everything I wanted to. It ended on a relatively good note... I think.

Thank you again for the replies SC.
David Tra
Goo Roo
qld
TT

Posts: 1087
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Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 04:57 pm, by:  David Tra (Bookie) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

you now have a conclusion Ryan. Time for a new chapter!
Mike Bradberry
Goo Roo
Queensland
V8 UnLimited

Posts: 1515
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Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 08:20 pm, by:  Mike Bradberry (Halflife) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Fantastic Ryan. At least you got to talk it out and to even get to know her a little better.
I acknowledge your pain and wish you well in your future.
Jol Alexander
TryHard
Vic
UZZ31 V8 (no mods)

Posts: 278
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Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 09:30 pm, by:  Jol Alexander (Courage) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Yep sorry Ryan, you had to learn about it at some stage. If it helps.. don't blame her, blame her nut job parents and nut job ministers. It is not fair, it is so illogical, it is utterly insane.. and it is sadly a part of our culture.
Cihan Aday
Moderator
etuner.com.au
JZZ30

Posts: 3018
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Sunday, September 06, 2009 - 02:47 pm, by:  Cihan Aday (Cihan) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

All the best Ryan.
Anika Le
TryHard
SA
TT 1JZ-GTE

Posts: 279
Reg: 01-2009

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Sunday, September 06, 2009 - 09:41 pm, by:  Anika Le (Hime1901) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Good luck Ryan, all the best
Ben Kelly
DieHard
Wentworthville
v8

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Monday, September 07, 2009 - 11:18 am, by:  Ben Kelly (Ace) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Well done Ryan. When you find someone more suitable you'll wonder why you ever wasted your time with her. take a lesson from it but dont beat yourself up. weve all been there.
Matthew Sharpe
Goo Roo
North Island
JZZ31

Posts: 4664
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Tuesday, September 08, 2009 - 08:12 am, by:  Matthew Sharpe (Madmatt) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


Ryan Rankovic wrote on Saturday, September 05, 2009 - 04:54 pm:

"its nothing special".




Wow, what an odd, sad point of view - the word is nothing special??? To quote the Discovery channel, the World is just Awesome. Way better than some imaginary divine being.
David Vaughan
Goo Roo
NSW
IS300

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Tuesday, September 08, 2009 - 08:36 am, by:  David Vaughan (Davidv) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

While on gods and religion, have you ever wondered whether you hold views which are internally consistent? If you go here,
design a god and here, battleground god you can find out.

Less than 8% of the half a million people so far who have tried the battleground made it through without logical scars.

:-)
Mike Bradberry
Goo Roo
Queensland
V8 UnLimited

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Tuesday, September 08, 2009 - 09:59 am, by:  Mike Bradberry (Halflife) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I enjoyed doing 'battleground god' and did not come through unscathed. It is, of course limited insofar as 'true' or 'false' responses which, in my opinion limits accuracy in answers. It's a bit like responding to poles where a 'yes' or 'no' answer does not convey how someone really feels about an issue.
Mike Bradberry
Goo Roo
Queensland
V8 UnLimited

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Tuesday, September 08, 2009 - 10:48 am, by:  Mike Bradberry (Halflife) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I should clarify that I understand when answering a questionaire, it's not appropriate to have space for a personal spiel. My point is that it is difficult to be accurate in many situations with a simple 'yes,no' or 'true, false' response.
Leon Wright
Goo Roo
WA
V8 UZZ31

Posts: 1075
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Tuesday, September 08, 2009 - 10:59 am, by:  Leon Wright (Techman) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


BattleGround God wrote on Tuesday, September 08, 2009 - 09:59 am:

You have reached the end!

Congratulations! You have made it to the end of this activity.

You took 1 direct hit and you bit 2 bullets. The average player of this activity to date takes 1.39 hits and bites 1.10 bullets. 457050 people have so far undertaken this activity.




I think to have no logical scars, one would have to base ones beliefs purely around logic. Which since morality and religion are not based around logic it would seem somewhat illogical to come to that any conclusions based upon that.
David Vaughan
Goo Roo
NSW
IS300

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Tuesday, September 08, 2009 - 11:45 am, by:  David Vaughan (Davidv) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


Somebody wrote on Tuesday, September 08, 2009 - 08:36 am:

since morality and religion are not based around logic...


Quite so, meaning that internal logic is lacking, inconsistencies ignored, when people try either to make sense of them or to base decisions on them. :-)
Miles Baker
Goo Roo
Vic
66 Mustang GT Convertible, 55 Chevy Bel Air, 69 Firebird 455, 69 Nova SS Clone

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009 - 01:29 am, by:  Miles Baker (Milesb) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ryan. Dude. I have been on holidays for the last two weeks so I didn't see this.

It is scary, I have been in the EXACT same situation. Like word for word mate. Except it was the really crazy Pentecostal thingo not Jehovas.

Mate, get the hell out of there. I had the exact same experience. "Yeah, religion doesn't matter, I ignore it blah blah blah" and then her mum came to stay with us for a few days. Like night and day the relationship turned. Then it was all tears all the time about how she missed her family. Then we had a fight and broke up, she went to see the family for a week, came back engaged to one of the flock. Now she is a complete nut and from what I hear just permanently babbles their brand of garbage. So sad.

Mate get the fruck out of there. They are nuts. They never get over being raised in those cults, you cannot get the side of her back that you remember. That was just one side of her and not the biggest side. It might have just been her questioning her beliefs, they all seem to around that age, whatever, I don't know. But they are permanently mind frucked on that crazy stuff and believe all sorts of loony garbage. My ex apparently believes in rolling around the church floor "talking in tongues". Complete shock to me and all of our friends who knew nothing of this side to her. Boom, she's gone back to it. Left me and all of her/our friends of years. Gone. They all do in the end.

Get on with your own life.

Trust me, I know. I wasted so long being messed up about this. Just turn and walk away and get her OUT of your life. There are no answers for you there, only more frustration and bullsh1t.

Just move on and learn this lesson: RELIGION IS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE WHEN CHOOSING A PARTNER. I used to go with live and let live, her choice, no harm. Not so.

Most important: this was not your fault. You had only the best of intentions. You did not drive her back to it or mess up her religion or life or whatever. And no, you should not have seen it coming. But now you know, and don't let it happen again.
Ryan Rankovic
Goo Roo
Victoria
Soarer TT GT-TL

Posts: 1391
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Wednesday, September 09, 2009 - 09:51 am, by:  Ryan Rankovic (Ryan1j) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Well I let myself down.
She got in contact with me after we said what we had to last Saturday. She told me that she didnt truly realise hom much she meant to me and how much I meant to her.
And after a bit of talking, she said she'd like to give it another go. Stupidly I said I want to talk about it. Straight after, she's talking to me as if nothing had happened and we were back to narmal, and silly me went along with it. Instead of talking, we had sex.
As soon as I walked out of the room it hit me like a brick wall that it was a big mistake.
All I could think about was that if I we continue on something will probably happen again.
And all I could think about was taking her away from her family and friends who would shun her, and taking her away from what she believes in.
Eugh I'm suh an idiot. And then seeing her upset was terrible.
Why did I go through it all again?
She apologised to me for thinking it could work, and asking me when she knew I was getting better about it all.
I really cant blame anyone but myself this time.
She said that she was ready to give up everything, but I couldnt live with that personally. It may not be my idea of a perfect life for her but its hers and I respect that.
AAAAH sorry guys, I dont know why I did it. I'm hating myself at the moment for going with it and hurting her in the end.
Even for the few hours when we got together yesterday it felt fantastic again. When I asked her what she told her mum she said she hadnt. That should have told me something.

It's just so hard to stop loving someone! Sorry for thinking with my heart and not with my head SC. All posts here have been valuable but I guess I didnt want to listen when another opportunity came up.

I just cant stop thinking, what if it did work out?? Even though the odds are against me big time I still didnt want to face the facts.

She sent me an SMS before saying sory for ripping my heart out again thinking it could work. But this time its all my fault.

Sorry for not taking your advice SC. Letting down someone you love down is the hardest thing in the world. I thought with my heart again and I have paid the price.
Jol Alexander
TryHard
Vic
UZZ31 V8 (no mods)

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009 - 09:58 am, by:  Jol Alexander (Courage) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Dude if she said he is ready to give it up then she is. HELP HER! She needs a lot of help to break away from these nut jobs. There are support organisations out there for Ex communicated JW/Mormons.

If you love her (truely love her) and she wants to get away from t he church.. then your path seems very clear to me. You take this on together.
Miles Baker
Goo Roo
Vic
66 Mustang GT Convertible, 55 Chevy Bel Air, 69 Firebird 455, 69 Nova SS Clone

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009 - 10:15 am, by:  Miles Baker (Milesb) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Get out of there. Do whatever you need to do. Go on holidays for a couple weeks, pick up some temporary new trim, whatever. But trust me, get away from her. She is not a damsel in distress waiting for a white knight to save her. She will, I repeat, WILL keep going back to religion. They can't help it, they are brainwashed from birth and it just stays in them. It causes so many personality flaws that are just unfixable. They have been raised completely differently to the rest of us. This is how they can believe these stupid things. Parts of them were not allowed to develop during childhood and they don't understand how to make some logical decisions. All the promises and I love yous and everything else are just going to get you stuck in a bigger hole when she turns around and walks away from you again with a pathetic "oh I'm sorry, I didn't know, religion IS what I really want".

Get out of there Ryan. Delete her number. You're only 9 months down at this point. I lost over 2 years and was ready to get married. It only gets worse for you.
Ryan Rankovic
Goo Roo
Victoria
Soarer TT GT-TL

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009 - 10:16 am, by:  Ryan Rankovic (Ryan1j) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

It's over, Jol.
She said she will go back to studying, which means she would be giving it up for me, not for herself.
I cant be changing my mind, its not fair. It might seem like its helping her but I'm taking her away from her family and friends who she said she misses. I think that says that I love her, not to pull her out of her own life, and out of any one elses.
Ryan Rankovic
Goo Roo
Victoria
Soarer TT GT-TL

Posts: 1393
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Wednesday, September 09, 2009 - 10:19 am, by:  Ryan Rankovic (Ryan1j) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thanks Miles, its a very sour medicine but I will have to swallow it.

Thank you for your input, and I'm sorry you had to go through the same thing.
Ben Kelly
DieHard
Wentworthville
v8

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009 - 06:39 pm, by:  Ben Kelly (Ace) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ryan buddy, its hard to get over someone when its not your choice. its really her choice, her choosing her conviction over you is perceived by you as a rejection. being rejected is whats hard for you, not loosing the love of someone youre not that into anyway (and being really honest with yourself, given the differences of opinions on basic matters like spirituality i reckon you dont really love her). the feelings you are probably having are 'if only' or 'im a failure' or 'i wont meet anyone better' etc. time heals all wounds and you will find that when you are with your next partner (and it will happen buddy) you will wonder why you gave her the time of day. Excuse me if im presupposing anything but its a familiar pattern among people (men and women) i work with and i can certainly relate to it in my personal experience.
Miles Baker
Goo Roo
Vic
66 Mustang GT Convertible, 55 Chevy Bel Air, 69 Firebird 455, 69 Nova SS Clone

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Thursday, September 10, 2009 - 12:12 am, by:  Miles Baker (Milesb) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

No worries mate. If ya ever want any more input, or talk over concerns or whatever? Just PM me. The whole thing messed my life up for a couple of years afterward, maybe partly because it was just so unheard of. Everyone was at a loss to converse with me about it. Had a bunch of issues subconsciously blaming myself I guess. The whole thing gave me a big education on what religion really is and can mean. I learned a hell of a lot and will never make that mistake again.
Matthew Sharpe
Goo Roo
North Island
JZZ31

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Thursday, September 10, 2009 - 06:19 am, by:  Matthew Sharpe (Madmatt) Edit Post Delete Post Print Post   View Post/Check IP (Moderator/Admin Only) Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Don't feel too bad Ryan, sounds like normal break up sex to me, most relationships I've been in that ended badly had a similar pattern... "Maybe we should try again", then sex then "oh yeah, thats right we just aren't compatible in so many other ways"... From what I can tell its normal human behaviour. Still hurts though, and the sooner you can break out of it the better.

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